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| i like pre-dawn driving.
PRE-pre-dawn driving, even.
3:00am to 5:00am is the best.
the roads are clear, and the few drivers out there at that time are outstandingly brazen.
running red lights,
running stop signs,
doubling the speed limit,
driving on the wrong side of the road.
... okay, maybe that last one is just me.
but it's like a secret nighttime driving club. the roads are wide open, and people just need to get where they're going. no on-the-way errands, just destinations. and everybody gives everybody else a wide berth. even during road races.
not that i'd ever road race, especially if i'm driving the Escort. if you dropped it out of an airplane it might max out at 55 mph.
anyway, if you're having a fit of insomnia, or you want to be at work REALLY early, i'd recommend checking out wee-hour city street culture.
i am probably obliged to say something about the 2009 World Series.
there have been 105 World Series.
the Yankees have played in 40 of them.
domination is one thing, but domination over a hundred-year period is quite another.
second-most is the St. Louis Cardinals. they've been to 17 World Series.
Phillies have been to seven. they've won only two.
better factoid for the Phils: it's been eight years since a team made back-to-back World Series appearances. the last one, of course, were the 00-01 Yankees.
as far as the 09 Series, Chase Utley hit too many home runs (5, tying Reggie Jackson's WS record), but he was countered by Ryan Howard who whiffed too many strikeouts (13, setting the WS record). the equilibrium of sucktitude was maintained, and NY won it in six games (as wishy-washily predicted by myself -- i called it in "six or seven").
go to the Body Shop and buy some hand cream or something. a portion of the proceeds of certain products goes to Stop Sex Trafficking.
pertinent information.
human trafficking, for sex or otherwise, is a for-real problem, even in North America. especially in North America as most people assume it doesn't really exist here. it does exist. quite enormously. cricket could rattle off some stats if you ask her nicely.
i want to do more. i want to turn into Liam Neeson in the movie "Taken" and kill absolutely everybody. trafficking is one of the worst things i can think of, and i am not afraid to freaking murder somebody for perpetuating that crap.
...which is why organizations like these work together to formulate more effective solutions.
also, i do not have a very particular set of skills. skills i have not acquired over a very long career. skills that won't make me a nightmare for people like you. i will look for you. i will find you. and i will probably accidentally shoot myself in the face.
retail, retail, retail... chicken catcher?
before becoming a manager, Joe Torre was a catcher in the 1960s. Bobby Bragen, a Braves manager at the time, once said, "I can't understand why he hasn't been nicknamed 'Chicken.' Don't you get it? Chicken Catcher Torre?"
i thought it was funny.
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| the Canadian dollar is once again set to match/surpass the American dollar.
books are labeled with American and Canadian prices. in the States this is no big deal.
USA price < Canadian price
in Canada this isn't a big deal until the news tells people that the exchange rate is even.
so, in everybody's mind (a place where oversimplified logic dictates self-serving justice), the two prices should be the same. or, barring that, they should only have to pay the lower of the two prices. naturally.
on the surface, if you're not interested in giving the matter any real thought, it seems to make sense. if, at the bank, $1US = $1CD, then a $19.99US Jodi Picoult book should only cost you $19.99CD. Right? RIGHT??
nope. but you'll flip out and storm away angrily (leaving your $6 half-drank drink behind) before i have a chance to explain FOR THE ONE-HUNDREDTH TIME the inconveniences of simple economics.
here's what i offer as an explanation (in list form, because that's also how i talk in real life):
- the publishers, NOT THE STORE, NOT EVEN ME TO WHOM YOU ARE DIRECTING YOUR BORDERLINE VERBAL ABUSE, set the prices months ago. our company has to buy these books from the publishers too. don't you think we'd rather pay the American price? an irritated customer has even suggested that the bookstore is paying the lower price, charging the higher price, and making a devious profit. if that's true, it hasn't yet shown up in my paycheck.
- in America you pay the American price. in Canada you pay the Canadian price. dummy.
- the United States and Canada, despite your inability to perceive social, political, historical, and economical variances (and despite your inability to locate international borders on a map), ARE TWO DIFFERENT COUNTRIES. Ontario is not a state wedged between NY and MI. NY and MI are not neighboring provinces.
-- i know this because it took me a butt-load of paperwork and one full year just to live here.
-- i know this because, despite having a very good credit history in the States, they still wouldn't give me a credit card up here.
-- i know this because kilometers and celsiuses don't mean that much to me.
- another if/then statement: IF the dollars are equal, and IF that entitles you to paying the American price in Canada, THEN when you go to the States tomorrow afternoon you'll be okay with paying the higher Canadian book price over there? since the dollars are equal and all? since the whole system is arbitrarily derived on whims, yeah?
- stuff's expensive in Canada. where i live, anyway. gas right now is about $0.99/Liter, which translates to about $3.75/gallon. if the dollars are equal, then we're gettin' boned up here.
i have no economics background. i don't know how the financial system works. i just know there are loons and beavers on our currency. i also know it is not unreasonable to pay the Canadian price for a book in Canada.
i also know it IS unreasonable for you to be so agitated. at me. at anything. regarding the lower-than-moderate variation in book pricing. buy "Fahrenheit 451", read it, then come back and thank me for not setting these books on fire.
we just closed down the CD & DVD department. that's a whole other set of customer-related issues right there.
and that place actually was a rip-off. buy your multimedia at Wal-Mart or, better yet, on-line. (far) lower prices, better selection.
me and my sweetawesome wife just celebrated our three-year anniversary. three years ago she said yes and i said yes (a few months prior, actually... i didn't pop the question on the altar in front of a church full of friends and family when, for some strange reason, we were in full wedding attire). it hasn't felt like three years. it's felt quite a bit shorter (thankfully).
okay. i am going to caffeinate myself heavily and NOT fall asleep and watch the Yankees clinch the American League championship. i am going to stay awake. i have a box of chocolate. i have half a chocolate bar. i have strong tea. i will ingest the tea bag, if necessary.
i slept through the end of the game last night. it was the NL clincher.
i slept through the end of the game the night before.
both times i said i wouldn't.
both times i lied to myself.
saturday, Missouri and Texas, football, on TV.
but i'll be celebrating cricket's birthday.
SO
i'm going to record it,
and you're not going to tell me who's winning,
or who's losing.
i will not check the score,
i will not check your facebook updates,
i will not read your texts.
for a few hours i will be off the grid,
and you will just have to deal with it.
i will come home,
i will pray that i know how to properly set a DVD-recorder timer, and
i will watch the game as if it were live.
well, i'll skip right over those commercials.
if i skip over commercials while actually watching live TV it means i've nodded off.
or i'm having an epileptic fit.
Go Tigers!
for now i have things to do.
and my hair looks awesome.
and brownplaidflannel is where it's at.
and there appears to be a gigantic albino slug on the couch.
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| looking over the highlights and stats, it was probably a good thing i wasn't able to watch the Missouri/Okie State game. hopefully the Tigers'll do better in next saturday's nationally televised homecoming game against... Texas? ah, nuts.
watching the Titans/Patriots game right now, i find football infinitely more entertaining when it's played on a thin layer of extremely slippery ice and snow. pratfalls galore. when one player tackles another, they both skid about fifteen yards down the field. this probably makes me the worst football fan ever, but i would like to see football become a winter olympic sport.
if i'm reading the label correctly, one tablet of this chewable vitamin C supplement contains 833% of my daily recommended Vitamin C intake. so healthy it's SUPER healthy.
eating everything in the bottle at once would probably kill me, but i suppose that's true of everything that comes in tablet form. except for placebos. oh, those sweet, sweet placebos.
anyway, i can keep a straight face while eating the hottest spices or sampling the hardest liquors, but i physically wince and cringe EVERY SINGLE TIME i take a vitamin C pill. it's the tanginess, i think. in other words, i'm a sour puss.
robinson cano looks like a ninja.
 
Storm Shadow, specifically.
which leads me to believe that ninjas dress like they do not for stealth reasons, but simply because they're cold.
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| i should be napping to rest up for double-decker baseball playoff action.
because i fell asleep before last night's game ended.
because i crash after 9pm.
because i'm an old fogey.
fogie?
everybody at work is sick/getting sick/dying. i was ill-ish last week, which either means my immunity is all built up or, and this is probably more likely, my system is weak and will magnetically attracts viruses.
viri?
i was in florida. it was hot and humid and disgusting. i perspired heavily every day.
i came back to ontario. there was frost on my car the next morning.
it SNOWED last night. last night was october 16th. not february whateverTH. not snow time.
whateverST?
georgia is not especially known for its sushi. this is something you should know.
"Can you name the World Series champion lineups (since 1987)?"
what? no. that's, like, almost two-hundred names.
but that doesn't mean i'm not going to try.
see you in thirteen minutes.
...
...
...
well that was awful and humiliating.
although the only reason i missed AJ Pierzynski was because i forgot how to spell his name.
i don't think i'm going to have time for a nap.
i think i will have time for perogies-for-dinner.
was that really a balloon? because it looked like somebody was cookin' up some Jiffy Pop, and the bag... got... too... big.
 
i love popcorn.
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too soon?
no.
that's CJ Wilson, by the way. he pitches for Texas, tweets, and is apparently straight edge. and a racer?
this time next week i'll be in North Carolina. or pushing a dead car through pennsylvania.
fun facts about NC:
- contains exactly 100 counties
- as a British colony it was originally called the Province of Carolina and was rather large, area-wise. there were two regions to the colony, a northern and southern Carolina, but technically it was all the same. in 1708 neither region could agree on governing leaders and in the mess that followed the entire province didn't have an official government for two years.
- NC has the largest native american population of any state east of the mississippi river.
- Super Mario Bros., the movie, was filmed in Wilmington.
the cat scratched the evermotherlovin' crap out of my right wrist. it's my own fault, though. i was holding her and punching her in the face and doing all those things that absolutely warrant cat revenge.
maybe today will be a catch-up-on-reading day.
or a nap day.
or a wednesday.
time for pre-lunch.
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