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| happy birthday mister americathis is how i watch NASCAR:
(first of all, it has to be established that nothing better is on TV. we're talkin' laaaazy afternoons.)
1) check to see if Carl Edwards is racing.
2) do something else (nap, for example), leaving the TV on in the background.
3) perk up for wrecks.
4) pay close attention to the final 10 laps.
4b) unless Edwards isn't in contention, in which case i'll see if the Simpsons are on.
there's a race on now. Edwards is racing. i'm doing something else.
the last race i watched was the Aaron's 499 at the Talladega speedway where he DANG NEAR DIED... before doing his best Will Ferrell and crossing the line on foot. awesome.
i found an iPod in the parking lot at 6:30 this morning. obviously i have no idea whose it is. if somebody posts a "Lost Dog iPod" notice then naturally i'll return it. however i've already purchased a charger from ebay. the battery is dead and i'm more than a little curious to see what kind of crappy music is on this thing.
happy 4th of July. all the fireworks here have been spent from July 1st. the apartment faces westward, and maybe tonight, if i squint hard enough, i can see some sort of majestic display from... Port Huron, MI... 100km away... no.
MORE canadio/americano nuttiness:
google.ca is the default google, and when i do a search for "2009 all star game" i get all kinds of NHL nonsense. i want my MLB nonsense. canada, you undermine me once again.
also, "canadio americano nuttiness" will be a fall Starbucks drink.
cricket quite randomly got me a cell phone. i've never personally owned a cell phone in my life. i used to be proud of this. but now...
i'm already a twittering fiend.
message me (but don't massage me) if you need to know my digits. TEXTS.
short article -- Miami Ballpark: The Future Home of the Florida Marlins
this was written nearly a month ago. i'm being slow somewhere.
Coke Zero 400? that doesn't even make sense.
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| restrained rick rolleryfirst of alls, congratulations to vicky and matt for their marriage and for the cool ceremony (bagpipes!) and excellent reception (CAKE!).
secondly of all, i'm going to the States for another wedding. congratulations to bob and melanie, but more so after the deed is done.
thirdly of all, MY WATCH IS BROKEN.
three's a charm.
or a crowd. whatever.
one of the websites i write for, they provide you (me, not you) with a long and varied list of topics. pick a topic. write it.
these topics cover every imaginable subject ever imagined. one i saw today made me laugh.
that is either going to be the easiest or hardest $15 that writer's going to make.
Step 1: Grow pompadour
Step 2: Snap fingers with the beat
Step 3: Never give you up
short article: Target Field.
it's where the Minnesota Twins will play their games next season (and probably several seasons after that). outdoor baseball in April and October returns to Minnesota. bring a parka.
i'm going to see Angels & Demons tonight. i've heard it's a suck-a-saurus, but i mostly want to watch the movie for all of the italian landmarks.
also, tom hanks with his shirt off.
mee-YOW.
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| banking on "amateur" and "japan" tagslooks like it could rain. i hope it rains. there's bird poop all over the car.
but not before dinner. balcony grillin' for dinner.
other
than
that
not much else goin' on.
yep.
nope.
books. check 'em out.
we should really get a real life computer chair. we've been using a dining room chair. great for dining. not so great for the spine.
short article updates:
The Yankees' Ballparks. a short rundown of every stadium the Yankees have ever called their own.
and
The Early Days of Amateur Baseball in Japan. how's THAT for targeting a niche market?
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| slice and dice, Yes We Cangoin' to a ball game wednesday.
a BASEball game.
'magine that.
Yankees 'n' Jays.
THANK YOU, cricket's immediate family, for the tix.
president obama gave me a papercut at work today.
"Yes We Can: Barack Obama's History-Making Presidential Campaign"
deadly on the fingers.
good-lookin' coffee table book, though.
my hands really are a mess. they're dry, they're flaky, they're chipped and cracked and CUT. and kind of grayish.
they look like Boris Karloff's face.
(ironically, his hands looked like MY face.)
short articles:
Kauffman Stadium Renovations
The Massachusetts Game
The Massachusetts Game was a weird and inexplicably popular version of baseball back in the mid-1800s. the batter stood between home and first, there was no foul territory, and (this is my favorite part) you could throw the ball at a runner to get him out.
when doing the research for the Kauffman Stadium article, i came across comments made by agitated Royals fans. it seems the renovations included removing the bathroom troughs and replacing them with individual urinals. now, apparently, there are long waits to use the men's bathrooms. see, before you could cram a dozen fellas or so on a trough. now everybody has to wait for a urinal to free up.
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| this machine has been vendedthirteen consecutive days at work. first full day off in two weeks. feels nice.
consumer confidance is up in April. i know this because it's been inexpicably busy at work. people are tired of saving their money.
they're using less plastic bags, too. maybe they think they're saving money by not stuffing their purchases into a free plastic bag. maybe they think they're saving rain forests.
i was reading about the Espresso Book Machine yesterday. it's essentially just a big photocopier that will spit out a professional-looking bound book. it probably tastes like coffee, too.
anyway, this is just a step away from book-making vending machines. and that would be awesome.
also awesome, but for all the wrong reasons, are kosher dog vending machines. apparently there's one at Fenway Park.
this conversation probably happens at every home game:
Bostonian: Hey, brah. Ya wanna grab some dags?
Jewish Guy: Man, I'd love to, but I'm a Jewish guy. I'll just grab a coke from the vending machine here.
Bostonian: Shore, whatevah. Ya friggin weirdo.
Jewish Guy: Holy crap, this isn't a coke machine, it's a KOSHER HOT DOG MACHINE.
(inserts quarters, hot dog bounces around the inside of the machine making the same exact noises a 12oz can would, out comes hot dog)
(Jewish Guy takes bite of hot dog)
Jewish Guy: Yep, this tastes exactly what you would suppose a vending machined kosher hot dog might taste like.
Bostonian: What the frack's a "koshah"?
end scene.
of course, neither the book nor the kosher dog machines can compare with the beer vending machines that can be found at Italian train stations. those crazy rail-riding drunkards! in Italy!
okay,
a Cardinals game,
a Royals game,
a Yankee game,
and a Boston game,
all on TV tonight,
all at the same time.
barring rain, of course. it's pretty gray outside my window, and what appears outside my window must also be what's happening in the rest of the world.
priority will be given as listed. i NEVER get to see the Cards play anymore. i RARELY get to see the Royals. but i see NYY and the Sox all the dang time.
short article:
"Babe Ruth and Stolen Bases".
this one received a couple hits after Jacoby Ellsbury stole home against the Yankees the other day. the last straight steal of home plate i can think of also came against the Yankees -- Aaron Hill of the Jays, back in '07. Babe Ruth also stole home... TEN TIMES. i have no idea how he did this.
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